It’s not uncommon, if you’re single, to have people suggest you date. If you’ve been single for a short while, people may “innocently” ask you if you’re dating. But if you’ve been single for very long, friends may become a bit more adamant about “when are you going to start dating!?” We live in a world where most people assume you want to be part of a couple. If you’ve been a part of a couple, and then lose your partner, people give you a certain amount of time to grieve, but they are more comfortable when you become a part of a couple.
Coupledom is our norm, or at least that’s what people seem to believe, and what they seem to be comfortable with. In some ways, being a part of a couple can I think leave people comfortable since they may feel you are not going to be looking at their other half. There’s a certain sense of safety when we are paired off.
Sometimes it’s not that people ask you when you are going to start dating, sometimes they put it differently. “Who are you seeing now?” “Is there anybody interesting in your life?” There are so many ways to let someone know they should be part of a couple.
For the record, I am female, mid 60’s at this time, short-ish (5’2″), a bit overweight, and I prefer to date a male. I wouldn’t call myself beautiful, though I’ve had a few guys I’ve met tell me I’m beautiful. I take these comments with large grains of salt. I don’t think they are lying, but I gather some ladies may not use current photos, and so what the guy meets isn’t quite what they are expecting.
I’ve been a widow for a few years, and I just haven’t felt comfortable with the idea of dating until now. But I do know that losing my spouse did teach me that there is a fine line between taking too long, and being too quick. Some people think you have all the time in the world, but you don’t. And we don’t know how long we have. Consequently I know I want to find someone, but I’d like to find the right someone. And hopefully not take too much time finding them and getting together with them.
I decided to go with dating apps. I signed up for a variety of them – 5 total. I had a friend help me take pictures, mainly head shots here at home, with one full body, dressed in my normal jeans attire. There’s nothing fancy, but they are okay shots, nothing professional, but also no bathroom mirror shots, nor head shots taken from below. And they are of me, not of something else. I say that as I’ve seen guys post pictures of their cars or trucks but no pictures of themselves.
To me, the information you post on your profile, and the pictures you post there are how you want others to see you. That goes for the guys I view too. I personally feel if you choose to post pictures of your truck instead of you, your pride may be of your truck, not yourself. If you post a short one sentence profile about yourself, that’s all the information you want others to know about you. What you post, pictures, etc. on your profile, is how you want to be viewed. That may be harsh to some people, but hey, that’s my view.
These stories are my dating experience, AKA My Dating Hell begins.
Update: In 2022 I actually found someone on Match.com that I’ve begun dating. Is it a perfect match? No. We are definitely different people. But we get along, like each other, and even our dogs like us. He’s the one I went on an Alaska cruise with, and we survived.