I’m not what I would consider a beautiful woman. I actually think I’m kind of plain looking. I don’t tend to wear makeup, certainly not on a day to day basis. I live in jeans, tee shirts, and sneakers. I’m not one for spending time doing my hair, no flat irons, hot rollers, etc. I figure if I’m clean, dressed, and presentable, that’s pretty good.
When I’ve looked through profiles online I try to figure out if this person is looking for a more high maintenance woman than I am. I do realize if you are more high maintenance, you may be more desirable to guys out there. That kind of woman may be more what men my age are expecting or what they are accustomed to. But I realize that I’m not that kind of woman.
Guy A presented himself as someone that seemed more down to earth, not a fancy guy. His profile was him in a hat and sunglasses. He had a beard and mustache. He wasn’t what I could call handsome but I thought he was kind of cute. Cute in a down home kind of way. We texted back and forth. After a time we even spoke by phone. Since this was my first foray into the dating scene, I was uncertain how long to text before speaking with him, then unsure how long to talk with him before meeting him.
I decided to chance it.
He drove just over an hour to meet with me. Me met at a small place near where I live to eat. Nothing fancy, or not fancy to me, let me put it that way. Boy was I wrong.
We got along okay, we laughed. I took that as a good sign. We even spent a good 3 hours talking. Wasn’t that a good sign??
No actually.
I even heard back from him, twice. Via text.
Apparently I wasn’t quite down to earth enough for him. I’m making that guess since he told me I was too well off, had to much (was it my car??), and we couldn’t be anything more than just friends. And he wasn’t sure that was going to work either. Huhhhhhh???
I had to think about that experience.
I admit to a certain amount of self delusion. We all have some. And in an experience like this, self delusion was helpful. So what I decided was this. Maybe he was a bit more salt of the earth than he saw me as. Maybe the restaurant was too fancy (it was sit down not drive thru). Maybe I needed to reconsider salt of the earth guys for a woman with 2 degrees (BA and MS). Was I too smart? I didn’t think so, but maybe I’m wrong there. Was my wit too much? I’ll never know.
But when a guys makes a runner after meeting you, you really need to sit back and reevaluate what just happened.
I didn’t have much to go on, but I tried.
I guess I need to learn how to read guys, make that people in general, better. My wit might (okay more than might) be a bit much, tame it down. Leave the Tiffany bracelets at home. Don’t get so bawdy talking to people. It can be a bad habit, and it doesn’t make the best first impression. If I must get bawdy, make it under my breath, not loud enough for others to hear. And watch out for my humor it doesn’t always go over well. Watch what I say, its just best all around.
So I waited a few weeks and tried again. Guy B.